Can any therapist practice couples therapy?

Many therapists (social workers, psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, registered marriage and family therapists) market and practice couples therapy. However, I and many others in the field consider couples therapy to NOT be an entry-to-practice competency for anyone providing psychotherapy services. The proper training, theoretical orientation, and supervision must be in place. So yes, any therapist “can” practice couples therapy, but it does not mean it is ethical to do so.

What is Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy?

I will let the folks at the International Centre of Excellence for Emotionally Focused Therapy answer this one:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a well-known humanistic approach to psychotherapy formulated in the 1980’s and developed in tandem with the science of adult attachment, a profound developmental theory of personality and intimate relationships. This science has expanded our understanding of individual dysfunction and health as well as the nature of love relationships and family bonds. Attachment views human beings as innately relational, social and wired for intimate bonding with others. The EFT model prioritizes emotion and emotional regulation as the key organizing agents in individual experience and key relationship interactions.

https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/

What will Couples Therapy be like? How do we begin?

I will first get you to fill out a detailed electronic intake form. Each partner will fill this out themselves. Then we book our first session. The first session will be a joint session. After this, I will meet individually for a formal session with each partner. It is best if this occurs as close as possible between each appointment (same week). After you have both met with me for an individual session, we will continue with our couple-sessions only. Sessions can occur weekly or bi-weekly depending on the needs and availability of the couple.

What if my partner doesn’t want to do couples therapy?

Ideally, both partners have some sort of a willingness to attend therapy, however this is not always the case. What I need as your therapist is for your participation in the process. In this “dance” we do together, I can jive with a partner who is reluctant to be there or feels like they were forced into couples therapy. I do not bat an eye about that and only have empathy for both partners in that situation. What I am not able to make work is a partner who has one foot out the door the entire process, or fakes participation with the “illusion of work”.

To add clarity to this so there is no miscommunication on my part. If there is a partner who is frustrated that they have been dragged to therapy, but also has deep concerns and worries about their relationship and expresses those emotions within session (perhaps with their arms crossed)……then that IS participating in therapy! That partner is showing they are still present, still unhappy/scared/angry/hurt/sad about how the relationship is. Now that I can work with!